i8 LAN party


The Gurkhas invade !

Friday 24th August, a race course on the outskirts of Newbury played host to the largest LAN party in the country, the eighth in the insomnia series and my third visit to this weekend of computer gaming, pringles, beer and pizza :)

This time we had an even bigger contingent of gurkhas, with me, nerd, cheaz, deathtoall as usual, and our newest LAN bitches, lord fondlemaid and storm, add to this our contingent of weekend gurkhas, werewolf, IRN.Noodles and *BA*Mess we were ready for a weekend of war crys and tired eyes :)


Tour of duty

Well, best start at the begining with a tour of the place, the CS area was in the main concoure on the ground floor

Main concourse, for all the CS peons

Then up the stairs we find all the quake 3 and other fps game weirdos :p

Quake 3 peons

More weirdos

within spitting distance :D

Then we come to the most essential position for the weekend :D


Introducing the Peons

The following are some photos of the clan and some friends that passed by when i had the camera in my hands :D ... loads more escaped the camera of doom so they need to watch out at i9 as i will get them in the end :)

As i say, we were all sat in the main concourse, we seemed to have the best seats as people would stop and say hello on their way for cigarette breaks or pizza so we all met a load of people, the best thing about these events is that nearly everyone is willing to just stop and talk to people and come over after matches and stuff and say well done or hard luck :)


Well these are our seats, LF in the grey shirt, then storm, mess, dtall, cheaz, me, nerd, werewolf, noodles.


I like painting and flower arranging, i'm looking for a mature man with a good sense of humour, have car and will travel, call me :)

This is noodles, he is an escaped mental patient so fitted in well with the rest of us :D

A confession at last !

Well this is Lord Fondlemaid, at his request his face is edited because he's wanted in 27 countries for extreme pervesion, it seems he has a confession :p

Greetings from his cousin

Sportyboy2000's cousin also showed up, which was nice :)

(to understand these two pictures you need to be a wpcs forum regular so just think we're mental if you don't, or even if you do :) )

Cheaz living up to his name

Yeah .. well at least you didn't have to sit next to him :D .. this is cheazy

FFS CHAEETT !!!!!!!111

This is Deathtoall, cheating as usual ... his evil grin is just after he's shot someone through ten walls with his aimbot :E

Let this be a lesson to you all, this is what happens to you when you watch too much donkey porn :) .. Nerdy in the brown t-shirt and werewolf looking gormless in the black :D .. werewolf is actually checking the stats on his computer for the amount of people that have been sucked into the aeroplane fans he has on the back of his case, largest total was on sunday with 47 confirmed kills :E


This is the drunkards on the end of the row :D ... the fondler with the blacked out face again, doon/storm with the lovely red shirt, and mess in the black shirt. These two managed to drink the bar dry twice :)

Well thats the clan, now on to the others caught on camera:

The gimp suited warrior

Fondles partner in perving, DEL707 put in an appearance to give us a pole dancing session in his full gimp suit (no pictures or i'd have to put an X rating on the site) with Taymar on the right supplying the baby oil :)

I like butch russian sailors

Finally a student even more scruffy than me, Squirle of gimp suited RA fame, he was down on the list to dance with DEL on the pole but apparantly he'd sprained his ankle on one of his trips to the local docks ;)

So sad, kiss kiss

Not wearing his sunglasses this time, but beer in hand none the less, this is Sci or Flosseh depending on what he's doing ... in every sense of the word :P

"nah Darths ok once you get a few beers into him"

On shore leave from the Death Star, this is TK421, quite clearly not at his post, top fella and a blatant cheat at CS :P

"oh yes, you will die ... you will die.."

When someone mentioned there would be a large hall full of around 800 men, the first to sign up was Twilight :E

if my son beats me again i'll send him to his room ;)

This is Hacker from XP, with his little nipper Hurricane, i'd think of another poor joke but he's a big bloke so i think i'll just run away :E

hey .... the fonze is my hero

UCO. Mav, the last remaining modemer : )


The Events:

Well thats the some of the people involved, so on to the rest of the random pictures i took ..

We were in the CS tournament and got as far as the quarters i think, we were meant to play off for a position on saturday night but we all went out to pizza hut instead :) (as you can see, we're dedicated to CS :p ), we had some really good games though, we played a really close game against N.T.A which was probably the best game we played all tourny, it was really close and both teams were evenly matched. Then we played LCA and they all cheated, so much so that it looked like we had no talent and that they were really good ... which just can't be true :E .. was a good game against them, we were hopelessly outclassed so ended up making towers in our spawn point :D

As night time approached we played a load of other games, storm cheats at colin mcrae 2 and nerd is the worst driver ever, taking most of us off the track at the start of every race :E . we also managed to take on the evil empire and took out a few star destroyers and took on a super star destroyer but couldn't put a dent on it so we all ended up just trying to ram the bridge like in return of the jedi... the game doesn't work the same as the film :p

Sleeping at the event is what most people do, and finding a decent spot to kip on is an aquired art, having been to i6 and i7 i was able to spot areas that others might have walked straight past :) .... it was very hot and humid, luckily i found one of the doors for the balconies had been left open so i trotted outside up the top and camped under the stars, woke up to find another 3 or 4 people had followed me out there so had a chat with them when we woke up, best night of sleep we'd had all weekend :) .. highly recommended when it's hot.

After having a shower i wandered round with my camera to see if i could catch some of the gimps asleep, some were upstairs like me but a lot of people slept with their computers ....

dreaming of donuts

Cheazy, asleep under his desk .. i've never met anyone that takes up as much space as our cheaz :E

dreaming of aimbots and donkey porn

Dtall, he even cheats at sleeping ...

Mess, waking up next to dtall must have scared the hell out of him :)

dreaming of perversion

The collosal perve fondlemaid, wondering what time his butler will bring him breakfast in bed :)

dreaming of vodka

ECSF.Boz, he's just lucky that Squirles fondness for russian sailors wasn't acted upon ;)

dreaming of more comfortable beds

Just some random sleeping people upstairs :)

The morning after

It was eerily quiet in the morning as most people were either still asleep or nursing a hang over from the night before :) , fondle and storm looking decidely under the weather. Cheaz, dtall and mess had slept with their computers, waking up to an area that looked like a bomb had hit it .. they decided, quite rightly, to bugger off to mcdonalds for breakfast and leave the mess there for me to clean up ... grrrrrr

The bombsite at 10am, sans campers... this is cheaz, dtall and mess' desks... hippies.

The beasts stir ...

The morning after the night before ... the beasts slowly stir and the world is alive again :)


Everyone was soon back to watching dtall cheat his way through every single game we played....

"ahahaha you'll never catch me ! "

Finally questioned about his cheating ways, dtall just laughed as he knew he could just deny everything and say his brother did it :)

The rest of the days

As the weekend went on dtall continued to cheat, fondle continued to perve, storm continued to blink and we all continued to get louder and louder, encouraging more of the people around us to join in our shouting and screaming.

We had a load more games and got to the quarters of the competition, finally knocked out by barcodes on militia .. a map we haven't played for ages, they were too good for us though but it was good game and we shouted up to them from outside (they were up in the boxes with little balconies) so much so that they chucked a load of water over the side at us :E .. went up and spoke to some of them later and they seemed a nice enough bunch even if they are from barrysworld :P.

As the days went on we got up later and later, and played matches till 4am shouting and screaming all the way, taking the piss out of each other and having a laugh with the clans we were playing, had some good games against a clan called GS who were new to CS but got better and better each round we played them, really nice bunch of blokes who came down and said hello and asked us questions about allsorts, we're hoping they'll come along to our clan server sometime.

8 clan members all transfering porn

A weekend of gaming and porn starts to take its toll as Mess looks forlorn as dtall continues his cheating ways :)

"ahahaha i r l33t !!! "

Cheaz looks on in disgust as dtall kills yet another person through walls and using his aimbot...

"have it and like it "

Cheaz finally cracks and dtall gets the beating of his life, until cheaz goes to hit him and he lag spikes out of the way .. dtall even cheats in real life :/


The trials and tribulations of being a network staff member

Later on one of the network staff was talking to some of us when a mob of other staff grabbed hold of him for his initiation ceremony ... which consisted of him being gaffer taped up and put in a wheely bin and left on the race course :)

The end is nigh ...

Well this brings us to monday and the end of the event, everyone we spoke to said they had a great time, i know all of us really enjoyed the whole weekend and it was great to meet clan members and online friends and have a laugh and a joke.

We played loads of differnt games over the weekend from FPS games to driving games, met loads of differnt people, from clan mates to a psycho canadian bloke who got drunk and stripped off for fondlemaid :E


Yet more installs of a random game chosen from someones collections :)


Group photos

Final photos of the weekend were taken of the group of us outside (shock horror) looking suitably tired but happy :)

Yes Noodles is a fruit loop, and I do indeed advise littlewoods on how to pose their models :E .. I think doons just remembered he's left the oven on at home..

"show me love.. yeah baby"

Desperatly trying to act like we're cool, despite the fact we've just spent four very sunny days playing computer games :D

"how long do we have to stand here for ?"

Getting suitably bored now (as i'm sure those reading this are) we begin to wonder why Sci (who's taking the photos) keeps asking us to show more flesh :)

aimbots active

Noodles and fondle finally crack and go mental, dtall continues to cheat at being in photos .. look how his aim is straight for my head .. FFS CHAAEETT !!1111

In return for his great photo taking skills, I took a photo of Sci and his band of chimps :)

ooo give us a kiss

Sci and royster unimpressed at barbers attempts to make them kiss him and add to their clan porn collection :)


Time to go home ...

Well that brings us to the end of the weekend, the slightly dodgy smell of empty pizza boxes hanging in the air, we all packed up and go home.

We had a brilliant time, and this was the best i-series event so far in my opinion, it just gets better each time i go, can't wait for i9 now :)

Big big thankyou to everyone that we spoke to or played against that made it all such good fun, and special thanks to the organisers for making it all happen even if some things *cough CS tourny *cough didn't quite go to plan :E

For all those in the concourse sat near us ... one last chorus of



see you at i9