i11 LAN party


The focus of win energy

Thursday 20th of June, Newbury racecourse was once again host to the concentrated perversion qualities of the Gurkhas in an orgy of tents, win and LAN gaming.


The story so far..

The normally 800+ people LANs of the i-series was drastically cut short due to a lot of people having exams, the football world cup and the simple fact that a lot of people aren't pure enough to attend :D

So the lovely people at multiplay decided to carry on with the LAN but just on a much smaller scale, with around 150 people attending and being held on the second floor of the Berkshire stand.

Our attendance this time was also reduced as the less Xtreme members in the clan waited for the coming of i12 in August which will be four days, those warriors that did have enough focused pure win energy to attend were:

Bugstomper, Noodles, Fondle, Cheazy and special guest stars Jimbo Ponce, Mazzahoo and Minty, with weekend attachment Concrete.


QRGR camp Xtreme

The reduction in size meant that people were only allowed to sleep on the floor that the LAN occupied instead of being scattered randomly around the building as is normally the case. To make up for this we were allowed to bring our tents to the event, needing no more encouragement than this, me and noodles set up the QRGR village..

Camp win Xtreme
The noodles and bug camp-o-rama was a focus of much security guard attention as it turned out we'd set up camp in the wrong area... to be expected though, in all our games we find the most unusual places to camp, life imitates art and all that :)

would you like to see my puppies ?
Cheaz looks on with excitement as Noodles pulls back his flap. As we normally make spawn camping towers we're hoping to get a pyramid of tents for i12 as the gurkhas village expands.

50p an ounce, 75% more win than ordinary win
Noodles is caught dealing uncut "win" from the back of his car.


Early arrival, time for a brew !

For this event we decided to opt for the early arrival service so we could get there on the thursday night and setup our tents, moan about our seats and just get ready to focus on living the dream for 3 days.

Once the tents were set up, noodles went out to his car and brought back a mysterious tin from the 1970's. The magical tin of win contained a gas cooker and the noodles brew-a-thon began in ernest.

Hi, my names noodles and i like to live the dream
Never get between a gurkha and his brew kit


A/S/L ????

Whilst me and noodles brewed up outside, cheaz and mazz began chatting up people on irc in noodles name, by the end of the night noodles was engaged to three blokes in row L and was the long lost sister of someone at the end of our row by the name of Concrete.


the win flows through everything around us, it is the energy that binds these sarnies, if you eat them you will be one with the win

The next morning saw the gas stove re-emerge for it's new found role of fry-up provider. Chef noodles kept a supply of bacon and sausage sarnies flowing for an hour or so, whilst telling us stories of an ancient hokie religion called "the win".

Concrete who had been tricked the night before into believing noodles was his sister stood in the back ground desperately seeking attention.

As the day went on a load more perverts arrived. The dissapointment of Englands loss in the world cup made way for the delight of 100Mb/s porn streaming.


Look i'm ready for it, you know it and i know it, full frontal is NOT a problem.. lets get it on
One of the sickest perverts the world has ever known, Lord Fondlemaid, arrived on the friday with his mate Jimbo. Minutes after he'd set up the demands on noodles to film the X-rated version of "When Fondle attacks" were forthcoming.

you will die ... oh yes .. you will DIE.

A new addition to the LAN experience was Minty. Having escaped the mass felching that Fondle was handing out earlier in the day he was reminded by Fondle that he always gets his man in the end. Minty's look of evil was soon gone after a long session in Fondles car, he didn't return the same innocent person, his initiation was complete.

If you'd seen what minty showed me in the car, you'd be turned to drink too.. oh the humanity  !

Fondles tower of beer cups at it's early stage, after only a few hours him and Jimbo had drunk the bar dry.

i fuurggging laaarve yoooo

In a vain effort to keep up with Fondle, Concrete shows what happens ... when beer attacks !

THE HORROR !!!1`11
Having walked past the car when minty was with fondle seemed to tip noodles over the edge into the abyss of insanity

# nooooodles ..... use the win .... use the wiiiiin
The psychological damage leaves noodles distraught, only by focussing all his strength could he be brought back ... to the win side.

Like the crop circles of the early nineties, this message appeared one morning when noodles was recovering .. it's meaning is still unclear, we hope to decipher it's code for i12.. only time will tell,


See you at i12,